Just got off the phone from another house rejection. This will be number 12 we have got turned down for so far. He was kind enough to tell us that we need to move faster as its a landlords market. We viewed Thursday evening and because we were waiting to hear back from another property we really wanted we waited until first thing this morning to decide. Bizarrily, in some cruel twist of events, we probably lost the last one because we pushed them to come back with an answer as we knew we might lose this one were we not to get back to them.
So, its now coming up on 10 weeks we have being looking for a new home. We were meant to have moved last Sunday. Between the two of us we have probably visited 1,000s of properties online. Contacted over 80. Got just over 20 viewings, put out name down for 12, got accepted for 1 and this one ended being a dud. The stress levels have gone so high that it's putting us both under some of the greatest pressure we have ever felt. We have both got insomnia waking continuously throughout the night with nightmares. All our house is packed into boxes sitting in two rooms in a house that we are lucky to be allowed to stay over in. Only because of the genuinely nice landlady we currently have, who is holding off on redecorating in lieu of the house going on the market. I am finding it more and more difficult to focus on work. The other half is beyond stressed and is not attending college or getting work done.
It's a very weird place to be. It's true when they say "home is where the heart is". As anyone that knows us both we make our homes so warm and welcoming. They are a place of calm and peace. Our home means everything to us. It's where you find solace and love and rest. Not having somewhere you call home is quite discerning. There is no comparison to our situation and the hundred/thousands homeless in Ireland today. Although it does give me a true glimpse of one part of it. A place called home. Not having one makes you feel detached from reality. It is distracting and draining. It's depressing and devastating to the soul.
Due to all of what has happened over the past months it made me realise there needed to be a change to what is going on in the market place. It can't be just us going through these trials and tribulations. Paranoid as to what we are doing wrong. Questioning whether our referees are saying something against us. I have even gone to the point of starting to build a new website called Homonise. A matchmaking service for home seekers and homeowners. Sadly, my energies are so distorted I haven't got very far with it.
I am sure many of you reading this are probably saying, sure there are loads of properties, just take anything. At least you can. You're right. We can probably go for one that we don't want to move into. It will have walls and beds and a roof over your head. More lucky than others. True. Although that's just elongating this journey through limbo. Were it not somewhere we can call home then its just a house we are living in. We will always feel like we are just existing and not being. For me your home is where you can return to after a hard day of work. Its were you recuperate so you can go back out and take on the world. It is meant to make you feel refreshed and create a sense of wellbeing.
Nevertheless, we have put our name down for 12 out of 20 or so and we are still sitting here, half in half out of this home. We will find our new home, I know that. We even both separately romanticised about the last dream home, being the setting for our wedding. It has being a humbling experience to make us realise to be grateful for what you have got. How fortunate that our problem is only temporary and not one like so many unfortunate others. My heart goes out to those who have no home at all.
