What makes you happy?

Ever since I finished our broadcast with OpenFM on the 13th I have being recovering and also in a bit of a limbo. People have being asking me, 'so what are you up to now?' I was aware of how the question was kind of throwing me. I didn't know whether it was because I needed the break or because I was at a bit of a loss. Over the last two weeks I've being kind of pottering around. Caught up on some major reading and loved it. Then some OpenFM admin and accounting stuff. Loads of sleep ins. Loads of shite TV and back on Facebook like a rash.

I have being a little uneasy. Not quite sure what way is up. My heads has being doing quite a lot of reflection on the learning of the last 10 months and looking at who is Sam. What do you want to do? What makes you happy? The strange thing is, I have being kind of feeling nothing. This is kind of shocking for me and probably for a lot of people that know me. Probably to the delight of others to have less of my daily positive vibes on FB. When I asked myself the question and kind of heard that same question on others lips, the same things keeps coming up. For the first time in my life I'm beginning to truly realise my own potential. It kind of scares me. I realise that there are few obstacles big enough to stop me now. As a friend said recently, sometimes the wall may look impossibly tall, its only when you walk up to it you'll find out how narrow it is.

Suddenly, I have this new found faith. The power of belief is quite something. So, one of my closest and most loyal friends came up to Dublin today, to escape for a few hours and visit me at the same time. We both seemed to be in similar distant mood. I was really aware of how distant she was and when we sat for coffee she said it was weird although it felt like we had the Grand Canyon between us. As we headed over to drop her at the train station we got into this beautiful conversation about potential. Well, it was actually about me. I was so moved by the positive emails and comments I had received over the past couple of weeks. I was a little overwhelmed and surprised people thought that way about me. My friend was saying she didn't understand how I didn't realise these things about myself.

In a matter of 10 minutes the space she gave me by listening to my own fears totally transformed and awoke something inside me. It made me realise a frustration that has being holding me back. Me. It also made me realise what makes me happy?

The thought of me living to the full of my potential.

Thank You beautiful friends for being there just in the moments when I need you.